Yoked to my brain, ox-like,
the drug, long metabolized,
for much of my adult life
has ploughed my insides
The drug, long metabolized,
has played me out each night
ploughing my insides
to the vox populi of AM stations
Plays me out some nights
concerto for nerves and synapses
to the vox populi of AM stations
the conductor raises the baton
Concerto for nerves and synapses
the notes never change
the conductor raises the baton
to which I am chained
The notes never change
a hundred player pianos
to which I am chained
score my blown-up dreams
A hundred player pianos
play flu-vox-amine
scoring my blown-up dreams
for love of science
Play flu-vox-a-mine
chalky Valentine candy
for love of science
I Luv U, Be Mine
Chalky Valentine candy
in childproof vessel innocuous
I Luv U, Be Mine
in interlocking crystals
In childproof vessel innocuous!
For much of my adult life
interlocking crystals
yoked to my brain, ox-like
Questions and Answers
Is there a specific moment that inspired you to pursue poetry?
Reading Sylvia Plath’s Letters Home as a teenager. I didn’t know who Plath was until I found the book on my mother’s bookshelf. The excerpts of her poems among the letters gave me an urge to write my own poetry, an urge I successfully suppressed until I was twenty-eight and taking A. F. Moritz’s poetry class at the University of Toronto (late bloomer). After a few tries I wrote my first real poem about a disappointing experience with student activism, which later became a poem about a disappointing experience with group therapy. Realizing that poetry didn’t have to be purely confessional in nature, that I could fictionalize my own experience until it felt more “real,” inspired me to go further.
What inspired or motivated you to write this poem?
Anti-depressant Pantoum began when I heard Jim Johnstone read his poem, “The Chemical Life” from his collection of the same title. I’d been taking an anti-depressant for so long, I wondered why I’d never written about it myself. How could I not write about something that was such an integral part of my life?