Khmer and Latin translation by Khloeum Cheth Oum អ៊ុំ ខ្លឹមចិត្ត
i.
Acacia leaves waltz in the wind
now they’re falling where your feet have been
Near and from afar
I can hear you strumming your guitar
la la la la, from the place you were once living
I can almost hear you singing:
“You’ll never forget the
one that you love”
“Khngom min ach bamplich ban te nov raol anouksavory
roveang khngom neung monous chea ti sralaghn”
ខ្ញុំមិនអាចបំភ្លេចបានទេនូវរាល់អនុស្សាវរីយ៏រវាងខ្ញុំនិងមនុស្សជាទីស្រឡាញ់
ii.
When I walk away from this
world, which direction do I go?
“Nov pel dael khngom chak chengnh
pi piphoup lork dor thoum theng nis ter
khngom neung trov tveu damneur tam vitheyna?
នៅេពលែដលខំ្ញឈានេជីងចាកេចញពីភពេលេកដ៏ធំេធងេនះេភីខំ្ញនឹង្រភ្ងវេឆីដំេណីេតាមវិថីណា?
When I look back over my shoulder
will I see the faces of those who heard
my heartbeat?
Will every feather
shed from its pinion catch
you and me?
Which way to meet
the moon’s gaze?
Will the winter we threw
snowballs and hid
behind tall Hemlocks
pull us back scattering seeds
into the wombs of new matriarchs?
iii.
Not long ago I went back to Salish Trail
ran my fingers along the rough
bark of that dead tree trunk,
inside its pulpy, porous flesh.
It’s here
where I found
that slab of bark I
left in your hand
while you
closed your eyes
but it’s me that
can’t see your face
in these two split seconds
across the bed of salal
leaves
an American robin leaps
over the shadow of the other
rousing it from a long quiet
sleep.
The sandhill cranes are due to return
home to the great wetlands
where the grass hovers tall
and green behind
snowflakes that
contemplate the warm skin
on nude and thin branches.
Notes
1. I attended Y-Dang Troeung’s book launch of Refugee Lifeworlds and her memorial at UBC on March 7, 2023, with my cousin Dominque Oum and my friend Thai-Hoa Le. Neither of us had met Y-Dang and learned about her and her work from the thoughtful reflections shared by the panellists for the first time. I was especially moved by Madeleine Thien’s poignant and tender sharing of how her late friend’s presence left an imprint on her. Christopher B. Patterson’s resolve and determination, in standing by and caring for his wife, while she was battling cancer and supporting her to complete her book, was deeply moving. His dedication made me think of Thích Nhất Hạnh’s words: “When we understand each other’s deepest aspirations, we become soulmates.”
We also met Y-Dang’s parents and her two older brothers. I remember feeling a sense of regret, of not knowing Y-Dang before she passed. Perhaps, we could have exchanged stories about our shared histories. Both of our families survived the genocide in Cambodia and lived in Khao-I-Dang, a Thai refugee camp in Prachinburi, Thailand.
I will always remember what Y-Dang’s father said to me, when I attempted to offer him some words of consolation in Khmer: “Om Kayt jit pong.” There’s no direct English translation; it’s a compassionate way of expressing a heart-felt condolence and intent for one’s heart to have peace after tremendous loss.
Y-Dang’s father shared with me that Khmer Buddhist monks attended to Y – Dang at the hospital during her last moments, chanting Pali for her as she transitioned. With tears in his eyes, he shook his head gently and said, “Om Kajt jit miyt banh, bue Om mean kon srey dai moy nung.” How can I have peace in my heart when I only have this one daughter.
The experience left a profound impact on me; the deep love that surrounded Y-Dang at the UBC commemoration for her inspired me to write the first draft of Inside Heartwood the following day.
Sophearcheath (Sophie) Heang is a second-generation Cambodian-Canadian spoken word poet and writer. She’s completing her first book, a prose and poetry memoir, Remember Me in Stillness. Sophie is also co-founder of Angkor Harvest, a Cambodian food purveyor serving authentic Cambodian food to British Columbians. Sophie draws inspiration for her poetry from stories people of all walks of life entrust in her, her own lived experience, and from cherished moments of solitude at the beach and in the forest.
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