Coming out to my mother

January 29, 2015

by Susan L. Helwig

This flower I want to give her
droops in my hand; I stand & knock
but some Aryan Jesus got there first
and now she’s nailed the door shut
even to her child whose confidence
grows and dies in one burst

how I could blossom under a warming sun
open up, as my body does now to
female hands

she offers only the old withering look
no bread for my hunger, no water for my thirst

stone-cold fruits in the garden betray her

He said they would.


Questions and Answers

What inspired “Coming out to my mother”?

The inspiration for this piece comes from the Sunday School pictures of Jesus, very blond, standing and knocking at a door. The poet-narrator puts herself in this position of standing and pleading vis-a-vis her mother, pleading for acceptance (of her new-found sexual orientation).

Another two threads that weave themselves in are cold and warmth (which are then repeated as hard and soft).

There is an echo of Jesus’ words found in the Gospels: what man, when his child asks for bread, will give him a stone?

This poem “Coming out to my mother” originally appeared in Gay and Lesbian Writing in Canadian Literature. Spec. issue of Canadian Literature 159 (Winter 1998): 55-55.

Please note that works on the Canadian Literature website may not be the final versions as they appear in the journal, as additional editing may take place between the web and print versions. If you are quoting reviews, articles, and/or poems from the Canadian Literature website, please indicate the date of access.